This is a story about me, the changes I’ve made and are still making. This is about COMMITMENT. Which means a promise made to someone or to ones self that can’t be broken without consequences.
As this story goes I’m a person who in my years in the past had a hard time making commitments to myself or others.
I would make promises and couldn’t keep them due to something or someone always having me to go back on my word because I was weak and didn’t know how to say “no.” Another word for that is to SUBMIT. That means to give in to the wishes of someone or to please them because you think you’re obligated to.
I would always push my needs and wants to take care of everyone else. But when the time came for someone to help me or to be there for me, no one had the time for me.
So through the years I’ve learned slowly to be more aggressive and to say “no” often enough. My commitments weren’t still being met. I was still submitting myself to everyone’s needs but my own.
So here about 3 years ago, I said to myself, “Enough was enough!” I finally took a stand and said “NO.” It’s taken me this long to get to where I am now.
I finally did something good in my life. I made a turn for myself, something I never knew possible.
One of the big steps I’ve taken is to come here to Christian Women’s Job Corp. I was nervous and afraid because I didn’t know if I could commit to such a big step. Afraid that something or someone will cause me to be weak and submit to other people’s needs and pushing my own aside, again.
I would drive down the street back and forth. I walked up to the front door, and almost turned around and walked away, when suddenly, something stop me. I thought, “What am I doing? Taking this step would be the greatest thing for my kids and I to have a better life, not to be afraid of anything anymore. “
So you know what? I did it! I’m here and learning. Meeting wonderful teachers who are so awesome! I never thought people like them existed.
The women, who attend this wonderful school, have been through a lot and are here. It’s great to have them as friends. I haven’t had friends in such a long time.
I’m so happy that I made the decision to come here. The best thing that have crossed my path in years. But I owe this not only to the strength and courage of taking that first step through those doors. God pushed me and guided me here. So now, I’m committed on doing the best for my kids, myself, for anyone who crosses my path that I can be a blessing to.
I will no longer submit for the wrong reasons. But I will submit to obey God, the father, the king, the leader, because I cannot do anything, and I cannot be anyone special without him in my life.
And I believe I will make it through.
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