Anger – Perspective from Alicia – CWJC

My topic today is “Anger.”
Definition of anger is a feeling of being very annoyed and wanting to fight back at a person or thing that hurts one or is against one. Anger is the general word for the feeling of displeasure mixed with a desire to fight back.

Now about myself:
When I started coming here, I had so much anger about so many things especially towards life for so many mistakes. I felt that God was not there for me when I needed him the most. But I have learned that He has been with me all the time.

Most of my anger started when I was at the shelter. Seeing so many women beat up with black eyes. Kids hurt or raped by their own father. That’s when I said to myself that is not going to happen to me or my kids. So I learned to defend myself without thinking or knowing my wrongs, especially when it came to men. If I would have been asked to write bout anger before I started coming here, I would have pages and pages about all of the anger that I had inside of me. And I am happy to say “had the anger,” because part of that that anger is gone.

My anger was to the point of hurting verbally, physical and throwing and breaking whatever it was in my way. I once threw a punch to a mirror and broke it with my fist. My kids were so scared and they started crying and I promised them that I was going to look for help. But at the same time I didn’t feel I needed help without realizing how much I was hurting my kids and how much I was hurting myself.

There are so many reasons for having anger inside of us. But it is not worth it. Having this anger only takes us into depression, low self-esteem. It makes us feel sorry about ourselves, not wanting to do anything.

So, it is time to leave this anger behind. I have learned to control my anger, how to say what I have to say without hurting the other person. If that doesn’t work, I just pray to God to help me to release my anger and to help me think before saying anything. I am accepting God back into my life. It is sad to say, that I had left God behind me a few years ago, but now that He is back into my life, I feel great. I feel peace in my heart and from now on, no matter what, I will never leave my God again.

So for each one of us, please leave your anger behind. It does not help you in anyway.